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ABC Marriage “B” : How to Set Healthy Boundaries ?

In the series of ABC Christian marriage, let’s start by B, “B” boundaries. Some people may think that being together in a marital relationship, there are no more boundaries between the husband and wife, and that’s definitely wrong because when you love your partner, you have to give him space.

You have to respect his freedom. He still has some private path in his life and in his mind. His relationship with God is very private. Some relationships with these parents and old family members are still private. So we need respect to set boundaries. And when we speak about boundaries, it does not affect the unity.

Actually, as they taught us any joint in our body. There is a kind of fluid, synovial fluid between any two bones. This fluid is very essential, you know, with the movement of the joint, the articulation of the bones together needed this space, this tiny fluid in between the two bones, this will facilitate movement.
But if there is no space, friction will happen and you all know how many frictions happened in our family life.

Maybe, because we do not respect boundaries and set boundaries, It does not mean that you tell your partner, that you have nothing to do with this area. Don’t step on my boundaries. No, that’s not the way, but simply you have to give space to the partner and if you ask him about anything in his life it’s not like you are attacking him or questioning him in a way that he had done something bad.

It’s kind of friendship, only friends. They enjoy being together, but still they have  their comfort zone, by themselves. I mean, they respect the boundaries and by respecting the boundaries, they enjoy the relationship more.

When you think of God, God himself respect our boundaries. You know, God never push us to pray.

God never enter our house by force. He just knock on the door. And by knocking on the door, this mean it’s all yours, you have the free will to open, or you do not open that’s yours. So when we set them, we enjoy our relationship more also setting boundaries with others because friends can never step into our very private relationship.

Other family members should never step over our privacy. So we need together to put some limits, some boundaries with all people, the neighbors, the colleagues, the mates in our jobs, the servants in the church, the family members, everyone. And by good communication, we can set the priorities. We enjoy time with this couple more than anyone.

We may come closer to this couple, but with these people, we have to have wider space, because we are not at ease when they are there, that’s kind of wisdom. So putting boundaries had nothing to do with loving everyone. When you love people, you need not to be very close to them.

Love them ,care, share respect , honor but in all these things, you have to keep the boundaries that’s for yourself, for your safety and for others, peaceful life .

Revise the idea of boundaries. You will solve any problems in your life. .

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