We should always remind ourselves that communication within a married couple is not between two people only.
It is a communication process that involves “Three” persons:
Husband – wife – our Lord Jesus Christ.
If we remember this fact, I think a lot of what ruins our communicative efforts will be gone. This is why it is highly recommended that we keep track of this Holy relationship by developing our communication (the three of us) through the following:
1. Praying together on a daily basis.
2. Reading the Bible together at least twice per week (if possible every day).
3. Going to mass and having Holy Communion at least once a week.
Successful Communication takes place when you are :
- A good listener.
- Ready to admit that you are mistaken.
- Respect the “other’s” opinion.
- Start the communication with a smile and a gentle hand touch (even if you are 80).
- Frank and express yourself with freedom but courtesy.
- Ready to devote enough time to the conversation.
- Do not interrupt the speaker.
- Tolerant of the other’s point of view when it is different from yours.
- Ready to accept criticism.
- Not sarcastic of the other’s viewpoint.
- Sincerely willing to understand the other’s feelings and opinions.
- Sympathetic and empathic.
- Consciously intending that the conversation ends with a note of acceptance and love.
- Insisting on having an intimate conversation between you and your partner at least half an hour daily (only the two of you).
- Insisting on spending at least half a day every week with your partner alone somewhere.
Avoid the following behaviors in communication:
* Taking your partner for granted and saying to yourself: “S/he knows that I love her/him, so there is no need to say it!!!”
* Being extra busy to the point that you have no time to spend with your partner.
Remember: There are three enemies that can eat your time up:
Computer, Television, and excess social commitments (friends’ visits, mobile calls, social responsibilities, even too much service, etc…).
* Avoid your relationship with your partner being restricted to the physical. This is very dangerous and can cause the relationship to be looked upon as lacking any depth or meaning.
* Substituting your communication with your partner to conversing with a friend or parent.
* Feeling desperate that your partner will never listen to you.
Keep praying and trying and trying and trying. If you fail to get him/her to talk, try sms, email or any other communicative method. But don’t ever give up!